The Apprentice: LA (ABC) – Everyone I know who watched this show either knew Tim Urban (hilarious blogger/musician) or knew someone who knew him. I thought that alone might have produced high enough ratings to keep the show afloat, but I guess Tim hasn’t hit that level of stardom yet. But he’s still my idol.
Entourage (HBO) – “Entourage” is the male version of “Sex and the City.” It’s one of the only non-sport-related shows that men enjoy watching in groups. Vince and his buddies live a dream life and inspire young men around the country to shoot for the stars. All men are fans of this show.
Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) – Larry David rounds out the dream team of contemporary TV characters (along with Dr. House, Will Grissom, Michael Scofield, and Jim Halpern). More than just the uncensored version of “Seinfeld,” “Curb” offers a unique look into one of the best comedic minds of our time. Fans of the show are “Seinfeld” fans that have HBO, or, in other words, everyone who has HBO.
The Graveyard (shows I deleted from my season passes, since I don’t watch anything on Saturdays)
CSI: Miami (CBS) – If you think “House” is too repetitive, don’t watch more than one episode of this show. I don’t think anyone who’s seen the clip below can possibly watch David Caruso do anything without laughing out loud.
CSI: New York (CBS) – I hated almost every episode I ever watched of this show. It represents what I think of as the “gothic” genre of television. I remember the sets being so dark I had to squint to see what was going on. And then what was going on was stupid.
Prison Break (FOX) – Prison Break was a tough one to call quits. I can proudly say that I watched the first episode ever broadcast. Fans of the first season were people who enjoyed Michael Scofield – an engineering genius with a social disorder who happens to also be a huge enough badass to gain respect in a maximum security prison. Throughout the season, fans asked, “How can a show called ‘Prison Break’ continue for the four seasons it signed on for after the characters all break out of prison in the first?” The answer was, “badly.”
I’d been meaning to post about Zookeeper for a few weeks now. Their self-titled EP was the soundtrack to the second half of my summer, and I finally got my hands on their debut album “Becoming All Things” today. I’ve decided to make this a review of both releases, since I’ve been listening to one straight into the other. The word that comes to mind when listening to Zookeeper, or anything by Chris Simpson for that matter, is authenticity. Musicologist Timothy Taylor distinguishes three strains of authenticity in world music: authenticity of primality, or how representative the music is of the place it was composed; authenticity of emotionality, or if the musician is really feeling what he’s saying; and authenticity of positionality, or if the musician isn’t just doing it for the money. While Zookeeper wouldn’t normally qualify as world music, this review will take the form of an analysis of authenticity. Because America’s been discriminated against for too long.
Authenticity of Primality
The official website of Austin, Texas describes the city’s sound as “a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll, with blues, jazz, even a strong Latin beat and definitely Western swing.” Zookeeper doesn’t feature all those sounds (I don’t recall hearing any Latin beat), but it is hard to define a genre for the band. “Snow In Berlin,” “I Live in the Mess You Are,” and “Trumpets” are pure, rollicking songs that represent pop at its best. “Boy & The Street Choir” is a folky and nostalgic ballad. “Tax Collector” features a pounding bass drum beat and sounds more like Mineral than any of the other tracks. “Al Kooper’s Party Horn,” although only a minute long, is a swingin’ jazz track.
Authenticity of Positionality
A common criticism of Zookeeper is that the music seems unfinished or underproduced. I think a better way to describe it would be spontaneous and personal. The stripped down, Daniel Johnston-esque production of “Two-Part Invention” comes as a surprise after the energetic richness of “Flood of Love,” but it’s an effective contrast. And the lyrics (a highlight on most tracks) are brought out by the fact that it’s so lo-fi. If anything, I’d argue that Zookeeper is less market-driven than any of Simpson’s past ventures. The style seems to come naturally and enthusiastically, as if it were a long time coming. Plus, over half the songs are over 6:00 - great for the music, not so great for play on traditional radio.
Authenticity of Emotionality
“Lover, let go/And you will know the dreams you hold will grow/And visions of such love will scold/The terror now that fills your soul”
There aren’t many artists who write lyrics that could stand alone as a work of art, but Chris Simpson manages it. “Flood of Love” is the most uplifting song I’ve heard in a while. It builds slowly, but climaxes in a wall of sound that hits you so hard you feel like a crash test dummy. Simpson wails in agony on “Two-Part Invention,” which ends with the great line “I was a two-part invention/She was my melody.” On “Snow in Berlin,” the lyrics unfold as a stream of consciousness, with no sense of lines or phrases. You can feel the drive and enthusiasm.
Conclusion
Zookeeper is authentic…and really, really good. This will be one of my top albums of the year. Go to his myspace, and buy the EP. The album will be released on 11/6.
Today at lunch I came up with an idea for a short documentary feature. It could be featured on something trashy like TLC. Supposedly “The Learning Channel” highlights characters from different walks of life to be understood and appreciated by all of us normals. I’ve seen them feature a series of morbidly obese Brits and a dwarf pumpkin salesman. While the packaging is a bit more family friendly than Jerry Springer or Ricky Lake, the end result is the same. All they really do is exploit freaks. Here’s another freak for them:
The show would be about a 20 year old guy, loosely based on a friend of mine. His height would be average for a guy, maybe 5’9” or 5’10”, and a little on the hefty side. He wouldn’t look too big. Looking at the guy, you’d probably guess he weighs something hovering just a bit over two bills. As it turns out, he actually weighs something more like 600 lbs. Flying in the face of all physical logic, the man grew up with a normal appearance but with a density three times that of a normal individual.
An excerpt from an imaginary interview:
“It wasn’t like I just looked down at the scale one day and noticed I weighed a shitload more than I should’ve. It’s not like you don’t notice weighing as much as a buffalo. Normal stuff just gets harder… yeah, like chairs… I’ve broken something like seven dinner chairs in the past two years.”
The Daily Show/Colbert Report (Comedy Central) – America at its finest. Searing comedic insight into the hypocrisies and deficiencies of the media and government. Fans of “The Daily Show/Colbert Report” are people who care about the future of our country, and have a good sense of humor. They also tend to be young and Democratic.
Making it to 100 posts is the first meaningful benchmark in the world of blogging, and we wanted to recognize it in true Canals style. We’d planned live performances, fireworks, giveaways, parties, etc. - it was going to be the event of a lifetime. Unfortunately we forgot to keep track, and it turns out we reached the milestone earlier today. So now, in our 101st post, we’d still like to take a moment to thank all our loyal fans who have stuck with us through thick and thin. The comment box is always open, and we’d love for you to post your most memorable Canals moment. And we’d like to welcome all of our relative newcomers, and invite them to subscribe to the feed. It really makes the whole Canals experience so much better.
We also thought this would be a good time to remind you that the Canals are raising money for a trip to the moon. For more information, read the post, and hopefully you’ll feel compelled to contribute a few dollars. Help us fulfill our lifelong dream of becoming the first blog to post from space.
We had some bombastic, epic music planned for post number 100, but for post number 101 we think this song is more appropriate.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS) – Grissom is another of the introverted, tortured genius, and dark and mysterious protagonists who dominate my season passes. “CSI” has stayed true to its formula since its early days. Fans of the show enjoy the wide spectrum of characters and their quirks, in addition to the high-tech (and sometimes imagined) crime scene tools.
The Office (NBC) – The only remaining network sitcom that can truly call itself a comedy, fans of “The Office” come from all walks of life. Hilarious writing combined with the best love story of our time (Pam and Jim, or “Jam”) results in a show that even fans of “Seinfeld” and “Arrested Development” can enjoy.
mp3s will be posted for a limited time and are for evaluation only. If you would like me to remove any mp3s, please email me directly: thecanals @ gmail.com
